The Fountain - a remarkable story...

yes, it is a weird sci fi movie. but it was really a love story... i just want to be loved just like how Hugh Jackman loved Rachel Weisz. It was beautiful love. And i just can see it in his eyes.... how true deep love means... He carried sooo faithfully. True poetry. Just trying to graps about life and wonder why this is happening and why he should live for her. at the end of it, he let go and he was happy. she was happy.

i think, all of what i desired is to be loved just like that. i will be soo soo happy. it is feeling of ultimate loved - and that's what i desire....

Wild Is The Wind

I tried to make you happy
Lord knows I tried so hard to be
What you hoped that I would be
I gave you what you wanted
God couldn't give you what you need
You wanted more from me
Than I could ever be
You wanted heart and soul
But you didn't know, baby

Wild, wild is the wind
That takes me away from you
Caught in the night without your love
To see me through
Wild, wild is the wind
That blows through my heart

Wild is the wind,
Wild is the wind
You got to understand, baby
Wild is the wind

You need someone to hold you
Somebody to be there night and day
Someone to kiss your fears away
I just went on pretending
Too weak, too proud, too tough to say
I couldn't be the one
To make your dreams come true
That's why I had to run
Though I needed you, baby

Wild, wild is the wind
That takes me away from you
Caught in the night without your love
To see me through, baby
Wild, wild is the wind
That blows through my heart tonight
That tears us apart

Wild is the wind,
Wild is the wind
You got to understand, baby
Wild is the wind

Maybe a better man
Would live and die for you
Baby, a better man would
Never say goodbye to you, baby

Wild, wild is the wind
That takes me away from you
Caught in the night without your love
To see me through, baby
Wild, wild is the wind
That blows through my heart tonight
That tears us apart

Wild is the wind,
Wild is the wind
You got to understand, baby
Wild,wild,wild,wild is the wind.
Wild is the wind.

The silence

Hi, I'm in the middle of crisis now. Yes, yes, it's Ramadhan month - yet - i have a crisis. I've already guessed that for that one week of long silence, things are not doing well for me. And when the news just comes out, i just agreed to it - and gave my ultimatum.

and the silence prolonged. And I'm already beginning to feel crazy with the silence (eventhough i made it more difficult to break that sound). And now, i feel like begging for the sound to continue -- like it has for all these years.

But head says it's good timing. I am not blaming anybody. Im not blaming myself. The cirucumstance is just nice to give a reason. And that reason will help him -- and eventually me, to see the real light -- and not day dreaming anymore. I wasn't in reality for all these years. But whatever happened to me is now reality. And i cannot face the silence. I can't face the silence.

So im writing because i can't face the silence. Im still waiting - hoping there's sound (there's hope) for of what in reality is nothing. Hoping for a sound leads nowhere - but at least i can dream again. Without a sound, it feels empty - but it's a step for me to move on without any complications.