Greatful

Im grateful:

• People love me
• I have money
• My car works
• I have Internet!
• I now understand The Secret of the Purpose of Life
• I'm healthy

Keroncong Hilang

Benarkah tiada bagiku
Ruang di hatimu
Untukku bertapak

Walaupun sejengkal jari
Agar dapat ku berdiri
Di ambang pintumu

(chorus)
Kemana
Hilangnya keroncong
Oh! cinta yang kita
Nyanyikan bersama

Ataupun
Aku yang bersalah
Hanya menepuk tangan
Sebelah saja

Ana.. Ana..
Ana.. Ana..


Tiada ku sangka akhirnya
Kau tutup semua
Pintu cinta untukku

Hinggaku
Termanggu tiada
Arah nak ku tuju
Membawa hatiku

You don't bring me flowers

You don't bring me flowers
You don't sing me love songs

You hardly talk to me anymore
When I come through the door at the end of the day...

I remember when you couldn't wait to love me
Used to hate to leave me
Now after loving me late at night

When it's good for you, babe
And you're feeling all right

When you just roll over and turn out the light...
And you don't bring me flowers anymore

It used to be so natural

It used to be...

To talk about forever

Mmm...

But used-to-bes don't count anymore
They just lay on the floor
Till we sweep them away

And baby I remember all the things you taught me

I learned how to laugh and I learned how to cry

Well, I learned how to love and I learned how to lie

So you think I could learn how to tell you goodbye

So you think I could learn how to tell you goodbye
You don't bring me flowers any more...

Well, you think I could learn how to tell you goodbye...

Cause you don't say you need me;

You don't sing me love songs;

You don't bring me flowers anymore...

cave girl

It's funny how you feel like living a cave - literally living in a cave, but you're actually a girl. Yes, what i desire in ultimate love... love of happiness, not love of sorrow, not love because you're gonna loose it, love from respect - honour and understanding.. this love takes time. and it takes your whole body in it..

I have trully felt how The Fountain, how how Hugh Jackman loved Rachel Weisz. And I've lost it... because of not trusting myself, not wanting to get hurt, and thinking that it will not be a reality.
but im really stupid. a loser. not wanting to change its ways... has stupid set of rules in place (so u can feel in control)

The Fountain - a remarkable story...

yes, it is a weird sci fi movie. but it was really a love story... i just want to be loved just like how Hugh Jackman loved Rachel Weisz. It was beautiful love. And i just can see it in his eyes.... how true deep love means... He carried sooo faithfully. True poetry. Just trying to graps about life and wonder why this is happening and why he should live for her. at the end of it, he let go and he was happy. she was happy.

i think, all of what i desired is to be loved just like that. i will be soo soo happy. it is feeling of ultimate loved - and that's what i desire....

Wild Is The Wind

I tried to make you happy
Lord knows I tried so hard to be
What you hoped that I would be
I gave you what you wanted
God couldn't give you what you need
You wanted more from me
Than I could ever be
You wanted heart and soul
But you didn't know, baby

Wild, wild is the wind
That takes me away from you
Caught in the night without your love
To see me through
Wild, wild is the wind
That blows through my heart

Wild is the wind,
Wild is the wind
You got to understand, baby
Wild is the wind

You need someone to hold you
Somebody to be there night and day
Someone to kiss your fears away
I just went on pretending
Too weak, too proud, too tough to say
I couldn't be the one
To make your dreams come true
That's why I had to run
Though I needed you, baby

Wild, wild is the wind
That takes me away from you
Caught in the night without your love
To see me through, baby
Wild, wild is the wind
That blows through my heart tonight
That tears us apart

Wild is the wind,
Wild is the wind
You got to understand, baby
Wild is the wind

Maybe a better man
Would live and die for you
Baby, a better man would
Never say goodbye to you, baby

Wild, wild is the wind
That takes me away from you
Caught in the night without your love
To see me through, baby
Wild, wild is the wind
That blows through my heart tonight
That tears us apart

Wild is the wind,
Wild is the wind
You got to understand, baby
Wild,wild,wild,wild is the wind.
Wild is the wind.

The silence

Hi, I'm in the middle of crisis now. Yes, yes, it's Ramadhan month - yet - i have a crisis. I've already guessed that for that one week of long silence, things are not doing well for me. And when the news just comes out, i just agreed to it - and gave my ultimatum.

and the silence prolonged. And I'm already beginning to feel crazy with the silence (eventhough i made it more difficult to break that sound). And now, i feel like begging for the sound to continue -- like it has for all these years.

But head says it's good timing. I am not blaming anybody. Im not blaming myself. The cirucumstance is just nice to give a reason. And that reason will help him -- and eventually me, to see the real light -- and not day dreaming anymore. I wasn't in reality for all these years. But whatever happened to me is now reality. And i cannot face the silence. I can't face the silence.

So im writing because i can't face the silence. Im still waiting - hoping there's sound (there's hope) for of what in reality is nothing. Hoping for a sound leads nowhere - but at least i can dream again. Without a sound, it feels empty - but it's a step for me to move on without any complications.